Wasn’t Kevin Bacon cool once?

Really, he was in Animal House! Had a nice cameo in Planes, Trains and Automobiles. Starred in the x-gen sci-fi classic Flatliners. And I thought he was really, really good in both A Few Good Men and JFK.

Granted, he did She’s Having a Baby. Wow. And there was that “album” he did with his brother, who apparently ran out of cash from being Kevin Bacon’s brother.

But I just cannot take him seriously with these Hanes commercials he’s in with Michael Jordan.

First of all, I’m not sure I’ve ever seen someone with a worse jump shot than Kevin Bacon. It’s no wonder Jordan, even carrying an extra 4th grader, is rejecting his shot. There’s absolutely no arc and his follow through is just short of JJ Reddick.

But I think the more troubling thing here is, when did Michael Jordan and Kevin Bacon move in together? It’s very obvious it’s just the two of them — there’s no furniture, except for a basketball goal, a desk and a closet full of Hanes t-shirts. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

I get why MJ is doing these. He’s the endorsement guy. He’s not above getting paid to be in commercials. But Kevin Bacon? Why does he need commercials? Surely he’s still cashing checks from Quicksilver. And his hottie-Singles wife Kyra can probably pay the bills with her TV gig now.

I just don’t get it. I see these commercials, and I think, “What would Reverend Moore think about Ren living with Michael Jordan?” Funny how I’m not thinking about how Jordan was the greatest basketball player of all time.

Kevin, you’ll probably read this when it pops up in your vanity blog search, so I’ll leave you with this:

I know what you’re thinking, and you’re wrong. These commercials are not making anyone forget about The Air up There.